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In most instances, you’re in no way obliged to respond to belligerent, non-constructive criticism. Ironically, your power in these situations comes from ignoring their rhetorical jabs. Internet snipers, for example, can hurt you only with your consent.

Most third parties would grasp that you avoided reacting to someone else's comment not because their defamation was righteous but because what they said hardly warranted a response. The familiar expression, “I won’t dignify that with a response," applies here. When, out of hostility or malice, another person stridently attacks something you said or wrote, responding to their verbal venom may give their words an authority they hardly deserve. There’s no good reason to respond to anyone whose prime motive is to taunt you. It would dignify-or give credence to-some spiteful individual's degrading of you. If these individuals say or do something that bothers you, it’s generally best to try to overlook it and, internally, find a way to resolve your immediate frustrations with them rather than confronting them directly.Ħ. So it’s just foolish to say something that would only distress them and accentuate the differences between you. Other people's rigidity makes it virtually impossible for them to appreciate a differing viewpoint. Some people are kind, loyal, and supportive, but also quick to take offense and highly reactive to criticism.

So there’s no good reason to risk alienating them by being more candid about, or negatively evaluative of, their behavior than they can handle emotionally. You may genuinely care about the person, or the relationship may be truly important to you (pragmatically or otherwise). It would likely offend someone, without having any realistic possibility either of resolving the situation or improving the relationship. I’d advise you not to respond to another person if. Even though we know that Scripture has much to say about how we are-and are not-to use our words, this is still an immense issue, causing heartache and strain not only in family relationships, but also in friendships, work, and church settings.Īlso available: Keep It Shut small group video study and study guide.Following are eight instances in which you’d be a lot better off not responding (at least not right away) to provocations, despite the clear temptation to do so. She will address unsolicited opinion-slinging, speaking the truth in love, not saying words just to people-please, and dealing with our verbal anger.Ĭhristian women struggle with their mouths. Even the words we say silently to ourselves. Karen will cover using our speech to interact with friends, co-workers, family, and strangers as well as in the many places we use our words in private, in public, online, and in prayer. In this audiobook a woman whose mouth has gotten her into loads of trouble shares the hows (and how-not-tos) of dealing with the tongue.īeyond just a "how not to gossip" book, this book explores what the Bible says about the many ways we are to use our words and the times when we are to remain silent. And what to do when you've said something you wish you could now take back. Kind, encouraging, and humorous, Karen Ehman helps us learn the essential practice of using our words more effectively-alleviating heartache and regret, reducing relational tension and conflict, lessening our stress levels, and growing our relationship with God.įrom Bible times to modern times women have struggled with their words.